The Van Conversion Logs: Have I Gotten In Over My Head?

Real talk; building out your own van is difficult. Something that you often hear from those who have self-converted their vans is “if I can do it, you can do it!” and I’m sure that is mostly true and I know those who say it really mean it. But I do think it is important to be prepared for how difficult it is. I’m not even doing it alone - I am lucky enough to have my father’s help, an engineer with extensive electrical and woodworking experience - and I still have days where I feel completely lost or like I’m not getting anything done.

But here’s the thing - it’s so easy to go down the research rabbit hole and over think every single little decision and I find I eventually have to tell myself to just make up my mind. I’m not saying you shouldn’t think long and hard about most of the decisions you have to make about the build. But at a certain point you just have to dive in, do the thing you don’t know how to do until you know how to do it, or make a decision to pull yourself out of analysis paralysis.

For me this is particularly difficult because I have dealt with anxiety and OCD for years. This means I am not only weighing the aesthetic and practical considerations for each decision, but the safety of them and what level of acceptable risk will my brain be able to handle. It has been really illuminating using the tools I have gained through my years of therapy (shoutout to my awesome therapist who changed my life) to move through a project like this that could have been triggering, and instead work through the struggle with gratitude.

Yup, I said it—gratitude. Even the super hard days where I’ve completely botched something and have to start from scratch, or get frustrated from researching in circles, I know that I am gaining so much right now and for that I am grateful. I get to spend this precious time with my parents while I live at home building out my van. I get to learn all about building furniture, cabinets, electrical systems, plumbing and more. I am working towards a life of freedom, where I get to travel, explore, and experience life. I really can’t ask for much more, and for that I am grateful.