Van Life - How Perfectionism Threatens Your Why

Have you ever been working towards something important, and along the way you get so caught up in the minutia that you forget your why? Lately I’ve been find myself falling into the details and the planning in life, wanting to maximize every decision and that can feel like being productive. In the past it has served me well; I’ve been able to plan amazing adventures, wellness protocols, physical training regimens, and it is one of my greatest strengths when it comes to my job as a marketing leader.

But something I’m starting to realize is that it's easy to mistake perfection for intentionality, and while I want to move towards my goals with intention, I don’t want to move towards them with the unattainable goal of perfection. And that is how I have to start thinking about my longer term goals in life, the ones I’m actively moving towards right now.

One of those goals is to move into a van and hit the road, working nomadically while exploring the vast and wonder-filled landscapes of the Americas. I have these images in my head when I close my eyes of what it will be like; of the wind in my hair as salted air fills my lungs and waves crash below me on the California coast; of the sun setting on the horizon of the desert, turning the sky the color of fire while I sip a glass of wine next to a campfire; the sound of trees swaying and creaking around me while I pour my morning coffee and open the door to sunrise peaking through the thick of the forest, creating distinct rays of light that traveled through space and time all the way until they reached me.

I know that these images I have in my head are only one side of van life. I know there will be hard days, chore-filled days, Cracker Barrel parking lots, breakdowns of both my van and myself. Vanlife is, after all, just life in a van. But some of my happiest moments in life have been spent outside, exploring new places and tapping into the world around me. That is what van life can give me.

But what will my experience NOT hinge on? If I choose the right paint color for my cabinets, which I’ve gone through about 15 at this point in the search for the “perfect” color. It won’t matter what clothes I have, whether my cabinets are perfectly cut and trimmed. Agonizing over every detail in the pursuit of maximixing my decisions is not only holding up my build—it won’t make a difference in the end to my overall happiness.

This idea that we can maximize every decision is just an illusion, a lie we tell ourselves so we feel secure in the decision we make, and I have spent the majority of my life making decisions this way. As maximizer I am someone who tries to make the absolute best out of every decision, when the reality is that there are many decisions that could make me happy. Studies show that those who make decisions without agonizing over which option is the “perfect choice” and instead decide on an option that is good enough are often happier with their decisions. This is known as satisficing, and it’s something I want to work towards this year.

Perfectionism is the enemy of execution, and my why doesn’t have anything to do with building out the perfect van. My why has to do with the places and experiences my van will take me. Experiences like in this picture, where I stood at the precipice and felt alive.